TO THE PEOPLE OF THE LAND of Gustave Eiffel, French manners and etiquette have been close part of their lives since the Renaissance and the days of Musketeers of King Louis XIII when the most trustworthy men of integrity were known to act on human standards, values, and principles of a higher order.
When visiting France, any man should well learn that his grooming and how he dresses, his demeanor and deportment, and what comes out of his mouth are all billboards giving French people a first glance at what is inside a man expected to have French manners, etiquette, and qualities like a Musketeer of King Louis XIII.
Should he remain a man of integrity, poise, good manners, and an exquisite etiquette, his folks back home will notice that he has cultivated himself; and a fine girl of matching qualities will regard him as a well-thought-of man like a Musketeer of King Louis XIII.
getting all dressed up
» French people enormously value taste and quality, and it is why the way a gentleman dresses is of importance. However, his clothing is not a way to show how fat his wallet is; but to show his taste. A jacket tailored to the body showing his shirt's cuffs with cuff-links or a poet shirt when taking a woman to a private place are good examples.
» It is important to be dressed for the occasion. Do not wear shorts, polo shirt, and sun glasses if invited to an evening party. Likewise, avoid to over-dress the person or group you are meeting with.
» In Perfume Country, cologne is expected; but do not pour in half a bottle. A scent of it is all that is needed. A clean shave, a well-trimmed hair, and clean and short finger-nails are mandatory. If there is a beard or moustache, they must be well-trimmed at all times.
meeting with either a group or a woman
» Visiting France, it is important that you be introduced by someone. You then refer to everyone with a title followed by last name. French manners and etiquette mandate for you to not change that treatment until you are indicated that you may do so. Should you not know the marital status of a woman, her title is always Mademoiselle.
» When you meet with a group again, French manners and etiquette makes it obligatory for you to shake hands with each of them as you make eye-contact. When leaving, you never say "good bye everyone." Instead, you approach each person, make eye-contact, and shake hands as you verbally express how pleased you were to meet him or her.
» French manners expect you to show kindness and respect by allowing her ~or others in a group~ to talk without interrupting. French etiquette mandate that the conversation should never be the prevailing monologue of one person. Otherwise, you are telling her ~or others in the group~ "shut up. it is all about me."
» In a conversation, a gentleman is amenable and he speaks intelligently. It is advisable to not talk about politics, religion, or personal economy; and to refrain from statements on French matters unless you are knowledgeable.
» French folks find loudness distasteful, rude, and flaunt disrespect by incommoding and disturbing others. Since these folks are passionate by nature, you may be passionate when talking; but do so tastefully, when appropriate, and do not be loud !
meeting with a woman you have been introduced to before
» It is acceptable for her to arrive ten to fifteen minutes late. However, a fine gentleman is expected to have a trustworthy word; and he unfaltering arrives as promised. Same punctuality applies meeting with a group.
» It is appropriate to shake hands as you use an expression similar to "je suis heureux de vous rencontrer" [I am pleased to find you again]. You may hold her hand with both your hands ~or not~ but do not crash her bones, or shake her hands like a maniac.
» The French woman displays her taste in the way she dresses, the look of her skin, her hair style, and her jewelry or Bijouterie. French manners and etiquette dictate that it is inappropriate to compliment her appearance. In France, do not get personal. (!)
» If you take her to a sidewalk cafe ~for instance~ you denote kindness and respect by pulling the chair at the table to facilitate her sitting down. Likewise, if you unlock a car's door, you may hold it open for her to enter the vehicle. However, you must do so every time. Otherwise, your message is that you are kind only at first.
» If you take her to a restaurant, remember that French folks use knives and forks with almost surgical precision. Do not use your fingers to eat a leg of chicken, to eat meat off pork chops, or anything that involves fingers with food. These folks are refined enough as to eat fruit with knives and forks.
» It is quite acceptable to have an intense eye-contact with a woman. It is also common. You show that you have genuine interest by not ignoring her. It is not intended for you to believe that she has an interest in you. On the other hand, to make eye-contact and to then look away ~or to disgracefully take a call on your cell-phone or to yawn~ is how she is likely to feel offended.
» Avoid questions commonly accepted in other societies such as what do you do for a living?, or do they pay well?, or where do you live?, or do you have your own car? Do not get personal when visiting France !
» After you met with a woman more than twice ~and you know that you are accepted~ you may hold her hand up and kiss it as long as you feel confident doing it naturally. You may do it when you meet with her, or before ending the evening.
» Give her a heart-warming moment swiftly walking away to a close by Flower Shop, and bring her a small flower.
» Assuming it is appropriate for her to contact you in the future, it is well-accepted if you present her with a card displaying your personal information. It is a card designed with taste and for matters of personal nature. It is not a business card.
» Should you arrange to meet with her again, you may send her flowers right before or shortly after that encounter. Do not bring flowers or anything that she has to carry. (!)
Something very important to keep in mind at all times is that since most
French people have high standards, values, and principles ~and they
act on their etiquette~ they are reluctant to be involved with folks who
do not have high standards, values, and principles.
It is because fine manners and etiquette is NOT new to French people,
and they rightfully want to preserve all of it.
About Author Mr. George Josserme
This author wrote several articles meant and intended to make a visitor's trips to France enjoyable and productive. The article below is another one of them.
